Zack's Rant

First, I need to congratulate Scarlet for being so bluntly correct with what she wrote. My problem is not a case of "senior-itus" or lack of motivation but a case of frustration which developed in contempt and is fast on its way to becoming out and out disgust. We are, again, at the point in the year when all of the courses are coming to a close and there is not much more to be taught and everything becomes work. I have no problem working as long as there is something to learn, something I can leave school everyday knowing something I had not known something when I walked in. What we're doing now often feels like busy work until exams. We've been writing the same essays since before we left for England and the only new thing we've added is tetracolon climax, and even that we didn't dwell on. The last time we asked why we're writing these essays the only explanation given was because Mr. Salsich enjoys reading them, not because all the practice will make us better or because we will write these for the rest of our lives. Frankly, that's a little discouraging. Then all the projects were doing are just regurditation of mildly useless imformation and the projects themselves are nothing new so there's no gain there either. Basically, learning has come to a standstill while work carries on with no clear reason for it.
But I want to learn. So what I have had to do is create more work for myself, find things I can teach myself. Somehow I have to fill the void left by school work. I've just started pulling books off the shelf and reading them, it doesn't matter excactly what it is so long as it's anything. The best book I found so far is The Sillmarillion because it's so dense and overwhelming it could take the place of an entire school day. The only problem is all this self induced torture takes the place of the required torture and it suffers accordingly, so everyday I have to read for a little over an hour before I can even try to work. I'll probably be fine once we reach exams and there is all the pressure in the world on me so I won't have to think about not learning because the sheer impossibility will be far too enticing.